Well first of all, hello you world changers!! It’s been awhile, and when I say awhile, i mean like a whole dang year. Let’s see what has happened since the last post until now. I finished a children and youth internship at my church, back home in orange. I completed an entire year of school. I was challenged as a leader at my church, I was able to serve in several ways around the BCS area, I went on a Mission Trip to Kansas City, I went on vacation to California and Colorado, I made new friends, I ate fun foods, and oh, yeah God did it again. Oh, come on, you know what “It” is. Okay, fine, I’ll tell you. God completely took my heart and re-shaped it, He took my future and redirected it, He took my joy and increased it, He took His peace and pierced my heart with it, and most importantly He moved mountains during my Sophomore year at A&M.
I always wanted to write a blog about why I chose the name Sweetly Broken to encompass my entire site. I knew in my heart why, but every I time i sat down and tried to put it into words, I failed. I couldn’t quite get what I wanted to say out. So here we are a year later, and I think the Lord has placed the exact moments on my heart to share and try to explain it. I always want my posts to be genuine and I couldn’t get past the fact that I needed to be patient to do something as simple as write a blog post. I always want the Lord to speak all the way into the movement of my fingers, and I could tell that it just wasn’t right until now.
I think we all could agree with the fact that we are all good at something. I think I am very good at talking to strangers and I think I am very good at making dull situations fun or awkward (depending on who you talk to)
. I think that we all have those things that we could call our comfort zones, right? Things we have excelled at so we continue to do them over and over again, because why would we want to do something we weren’t good at?
Something I feel I’ve gotten very good at lately is assuming. I always assume things about other people, myself, and God. I assume that everyone is okay until they give me a reason not to believe that. I assume that I don’t ever need any help, that I am good to go on my own. I assume that God can’t fulfill a lot of the things I pray or for expect for Him to do or even things that He promises me He will do.
I spent three weeks in Kansas City, Missouri at the beginning of my summer. Leading up to these weeks, I was tired. I had just finished up one of my hardest and most time consuming semesters, thus far. I was taking like 19 hours and was heavily involved in my bible study and meeting with people weekly, that when it came time to being by myself, I got so lazy. And y’all, I mean lazy. Leading up to KC I was still trying to support raise and get things ready to go for a trip I had no idea was gonna wreck my life. You know God is so funny the way He does that. Over months of prayer and decision making God eventually led me to this specific trip and at the time I didn’t know why. i Still didnt even as we were pulling into the state of Missouri after our 10 and a half hour car ride. I was assuming that God had a small plan for this trip, and as always, I was wrong.
I entered into this trip with a basis of things i thought that I was really good at. I love teaching bible studies and would even go as far as to say that it was one of those things that I think I am good at. I love talking to believers about their walk with the Lord and about God. I love talking about Jesus related things, and I love the idea of encouragement. All this to say, I was in a bubble surrounded by people who were running with everything they had after Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, I love this bubble. Here, I am accepted. Here, I excelled. Here, I am free to be me. Here, I am known.
So you may be thinking, Becca this bubble sounds awesome!! Everyone wants a place where they can feel known and safe, right? Well, of course. But i had gotten so caught up in my own awesome Jesus bubble, that I was completely neglecting the people who had never even heard of Jesus. I had gotten really really good at keeping myself in a bubble of people who believed the same things as me. I had gotten really good at talking about God to people who already knew Him. Now don’t get me wrong, this is not me saying that we shouldn’t surround ourselves with a community who loves the Lord and serves each other. But, I am saying that when we camp out in this bubble we can get really good at talking with no action. Talking about how we are to love those who don’t know Jesus, but never actually talk to them. Saying we will pray for them, and then we forget about it. Talking about sharing the gospel, but ignoring every time the Lord is whispering to us, “tell them now”. Man, some disciples we are…
in my time spent in KC, MO, I was reminded of my attitude towards the gospel. Not only had I gotten to a place where I wasn’t sharing it with those who needed it, but I had gotten to a place where when I saw the opportunity to share it or serve someone, I just didn’t care. Guys, i didn’t care to even share the one thing that gives me purpose. The one thing that gives me hope and joy, and I was keeping it alllllllllll to myself. Over the three weeks that I was there, the Lord had presented several opportunities for me to share the gospel with people who were literally crying out for Jesus and they didn’t even know it. I was thrown into situations for the first time where someone told me they were okay without God, situations where people thought that they were enough and didn’t need Him. I met people who had no clue they were hurting. I met people who were hurting and didn’t know what to do about it. I was reminded of the people I sit in class with that I barely know and even try to learn anything past their names sometimes. I was reminded of my family members that are holding onto earthly things. I was reminded of the people that I talk to on a daily basis at the store, at restaurants, on the phone, and all around college station. I began thinking of all the times that people were crying out for something and I had the answer and yet I kept it to myself, because i’m selfish. Man, I have made the gospel so selfish. I don’t know about you, but i am ashamed of the way I have held on so tightly to my fears and insecurities that has resulted in me hiding the truth from people. I have no doubt that I serve a God who doesn’t need me to change the hearts of people. He can use my disobedience to work for His glory, but He shouldn’t have to right? Because I owe everything to Him, I owe my life, my time, my friendships, my jobs, my everything. Why you may ask? Well, I will tell you. I am a sinner. I am obviously broken. Sin is in my heart, so close to my decisions and thoughts. There is nothing that I could do on my own to save myself from this. BUT when I was at my worst, Jesus loved me at my darkest. He did not leave me there. He died for me before I even entered this earth, He died knowing all the times I would hate myself, all the times that I would be disobedient, He loved me when I ran away from Him. Thank you Jesus for your obedience to the Father. Jesus, thank you for waking up one morning and walking down a path that was laid out for me. Thank you Jesus for being nailed to a cross with nails that should have gone through my hands and feet. Thank you Jesus for fulfilling all your promises by not only dying for me but rising again. See, when Jesus did this, He defeated sin and death forever and ever and ever. He did this for me knowing that there would be days when I would wake up and choose to follow myself and not Him. He did this knowing that there would be days when I would hate who He had created me to be or what I looked like and instead of running to Him, i would turn the other way. He did this knowing that I was going to doubt Him, and deny Him, and be faithless. Even my best efforts fail. How can we even begin to understand love like this?
So I know that without knowing these things, I would be nothing. So why do I assume that those who don’t know Him, are doing alright? Why do I assume that God can’t push through my fear to show someone how much He loves them. I don’t know about you, but I am really done listening to Satan’s lies. I am really done with not letting God’s voice be the only one that I hear.
So back to the name of the blog, Sweetly Broken. I find myself here, a lot. Being reminded of how broken I am, and I love it. I think that it is so sweet of my Jesus to remind me of How feeble I am and how mighty He is. He breaks me and reminds me that it’s not all about me. He reminds me of how undeserving I am of His love, yet He chooses to love me anyways. He reminds me of where I was the first time I realized I needed Him. Only the God I serve could turn brokenness into beauty. I know that’s weird to find brokenness beautiful, but I serve a God who uses my weakness to make His name known. I serve a God who looks at the depths of my filthy heart and calls me His. I serve a God who did not leave me in my pit of sin, but dusted me off and took my hand and leads me through this crazy life. The God I serve already knows how I will fail Him everyday, yet has already forgiven me. Jesus, thank you for making the ugliest things beautiful. Thank you Jesus for knowing me by my name and not by my sin. Man, everyone needs to know this don’t they?
So it starts with knowing that you are broken. And then, open your eyes. Look around and see the brokenness in people and things here on our earth. There are people who don’t know Jesus around us all the time, every day. There are people who know Jesus but need to be reminded of how much He loves and cares for them. I have no doubt that God puts you in your class, or your job, right next to that girl or that boy for a reason. I have no doubt that you are in the town you are in for a specific purpose. So what if you had a certain waiter on a certain night that you were supposed to meet and pray with and eventually share Jesus with, but you never asked her her name. What if you are sitting next to a certain person in a certain class and you were supposed to become friends with them and love on them and share Jesus with them, but all you did was exchange notes. Stop praying for opportunities, and start praying that you see them, because God has already placed you in a mission field. So are we gonna chose to care so much about these people because God cares about them, or are we just gonna sit and hope someone else braves up the courage to do it. We are broken people living in a broken world with the hope that changes things even at the mention of the name of Jesus. So Children of God, what are we gonna do about it?
Ever heard that Casting Crowns song that goes, “Jesus paid much too high a price for me to pick and choose who should come"? Yeah, it's true. So here’s my challenge to you...Stop writing people off as hopeless, that they won’t ever change, or that they won’t ever want to know Jesus. Because in truth, these are the most hopeless people that there are. You are holding onto a story that breaks past walls, and breaks down chains and barriers! You are holding on the truth of a Savior that looks at sin and crushes it underneath His feet. I urge you to stop hugging fear so tightly and start letting your faith move your feet and your lips. Start making friendships everywhere you go with everyone you meet and stop telling yourself that everyone around you knows Jesus, because as much as we like to think that, it is a lie. Stop waiting for someone else to come around and do what Jesus has called you to do. Be a better listener. Start listening to God and start listening to others as they cry out for Jesus. The thing is, we are all crying out for something, let the answer to your longing be Jesus. Let’s stop letting our friends and family hurt, because the time is now people. It’s always been now, but somehow we forget that as Christians literally our only purpose here on earth is to know and love Jesus and point others to Him. That’s it. I mean yes, He gives us awesome ways to do that, like in work or in our friend groups but remember that your purpose here on earth isn’t to be a manager. It is to be a manager who does their job well because they know Jesus and shares Him with others. You are a teacher who knows Jesus and shares Him with others. You are a dancer who knows Jesus and shares Him with others. Newsflash, if you know Jesus...welcome to ministry.
You know, what would this world look like if Christians started acting like Christians? Let’s find out.
I am praying for you, world changers. You Rock!!
Love, Bec